THE FEAR
This is our "Music from A Bachelors Den" -
the sound of loneliness turned up to ten.
A horror soundtrack from a stagnant water-bed
And it sounds just like this.
This is the sound of someone losing the plot -
making out that they're okay when they're not.
You're gonna like it,
but not a lot
and the chorus goes like this:
Oh baby,
here comes the fear again.
The end is near again.
A monkey's built a house on your back.
You can't get anyone to come in the sack
and here comes another panic attack
Oh here we go again.
So now you know the words to our song,
pretty soon you'll all be singing along.
When you're sad, when you're lonely
and it all turns out wrong.
When you've got the fear.
And hen you're no longer searching
for beauty or love -
just some kind of life
with the edges taken off.
When you can't even define what it is that you're frightened
of
this song will be here.
Oh baby,
here comes the fear gain.
The end is near again.
If you ever get that chimp off your back.
If you ever find the thing that you lack
but you know you're only having a laugh
and here we go again.
Until the end.
DISHES
I am not Jesus though I have the same initials -
I am the man who stays home and does the dishes.
And how was your day?
Is that woman still trying to do your head in?
A man told me to beware of 33.
He said,
"It was not an easy time for me"
but I'll get through
even though I've got no miracles to show you.
I'd like to make this water wine
but it's impossible.
I've got to get these dishes dry.
I'll read a story if it helps you sleep at
night.
I've got some matches if you ever need a light.
Oh I am just a man
but I'm doing what I can to help you.
I'd like to make this water wine
but it's impossible.
I've got to get these dishes dry.
And I'm not worried that I will never touch
the stars
cos stars belong up in heaven
and the earth is where we are.
Oh yeah.
And aren't you happy just to be alive?
Anything's possible.
You've got no Cross to bear tonight.
No not tonight.
No not tonight.
I am not Jesus though I have the same initials.
PARTY HARD
I used to try very hard to make friends with everyone on
the
planet.
I've seen you havin' it, havin' it yeah
but now you've just had it.
Entertainment can sometimes be hard
when the thing that you love
is the same thing that's holding you down.
This man is dangerous,
he just shed his load on your best party frock.
Before you enter the palace of wisdom you have to decide:
are you ready to rock?
Oh can you party with me?
Can you show me a good time?
Do you even know what one looks like?
And I don't need to hear your stories again -
just get on the floor and show me what you're made of.
Just what exactly are you made of?
Baby, you're driving me crazy.
Baby, you're driving me crazy.
I was having a whale of a time until your uncle Psychosis
arrived.
Why do we have to half kill ourselves just to prove we're
alive?
I'm here whenever you need me
and whenever you need me
I won't be here.
And have you ever stopped to ask yourself?
if you didn't come to party, then why did you come here?
Baby, you're driving me crazy.
Baby, you're driving me crazy.
And do you really want to know
just how come you turned out so dumb?
When the party's over will you come home with me?
Now the party's over will you come home to me.
Will you come home to me?
HELP THE AGED
Help the aged,
One time they were just like you, drinking, smoking cigs
and
sniffing glue.
Help the aged, don't just put them in a home,
Can't have much fun in there all on their own.
Give a hand, if you can, try and help them to unwind.
Give them hope & give them comfort 'cos they're running
out of
time.
In the meantime we try.
Try to forget that nothing lasts forever.
No big deal so give us all a feel.
Funny how it all falls away.
When did you first realise?
It's time you took an older lover baby.
Teach you stuff although he's looking rough.
Funny how it all falls away.
Help the aged 'cos one day you'll be older too
You might need someone who can pull you through
And if you look very hard behind the lines upon their
Face you may see where you are headed and it's such a lonely
place.
In the meantime we try…
You can dye your hair but it's the one thing you can't change.
Can't run away from yourself.
In the meantime we try…
Funny how it all falls away.
So help the aged…
THIS IS HARDCORE
You are hardcore, you make me hard.
You name the drama and I'll play the part.
It seems I saw you in some teenage wet dream.
I like your get-up if you know what I mean.
I want it bad.
I want it now.
Oh can't you see I'm ready now.
I've seen all the pictures, I've studied them forever.
I wanna make a movie so let's star in it together.
Don't make a move 'til I say "Action. "
Oh here comes the Hardcore life.
Put your money where your mouth is tonight.
Leave your make-up on and I'll leave on the light.
Come over here babe and talk in the mic.
Oh yeah I hear you now.
It's gonna be one hell of a night.
You can't be a spectator. Oh no.
You got to take these dreams and make them whole
Oh this is Hardcore -
there is no way back for you.
Oh this is Hardcore -
this is me on top of you
and I can't believe it took me this long.
That it took me this long.
This is the eye of the storm.
It's what men in stained raincoats pay for
but in here it is pure. Yeah.
This is the end of the line.
I've seen the storyline played out so many times before.
Oh that goes in there.
Then that goes in there.
Then that goes in there.
Then that goes in there.
And then it's over.
Oh, what a hell of a show
but what I want to know:
what exactly do you do for an encore?
Cos this is Hardcore.
TV MOVIE
Without you my life has become a hangover without end.
A movie made for TV:
bad dialogue, bad acting, no interest.
Too long with no story and no sex.
Is it a kind of weakness to miss someone so much?
To wish the day would go away?
Like you did yesterday.
Just like you did yesterday.
And I can't think of a way to get through this pain.
To be happy again to make it all alright
and I know it must be bad cos sitting here right now,
all I know is I can't even think,
I can't even think of anything clever to say.
So I say:
why pretend any longer?
Cos I need you here with me.
It's obvious that I miss you so much
so please say you're gonna stay.
So please say you're gonna stay.
So please say you're gonna stay.
The night is getting darker now
and there's nothing on TV
but I'll sit tight
'til morning light.
Yeah, I'll wait until the day.
Until the day that you say you're gonna stay.
A LITTLE SOUL
Hey man,
how come you treat your woman so bad?
That's not the way you do it.
No no no you shouldn't do it like that.
I could show you how to do it right.
I used to practice every night on my wife, now she's gone.
Yeah, she's gone.
You see your mother and me,
we never got along that well you see.
I'd love to help you
but everybody's telling me
you look like me
but please don't turn out like me.
You look like me
but you're not like me I know.
I had one, two, three,
four shots of happiness.
I look like a big man
But I've only got a little soul.
I only got a little soul.
Yeah, I wish I could be an example.
Wish I could say I stood up for you
and fought for what was right.
But I never did.
I just wore my trenchcoat and stayed out every single night.
You think I'm joking?
Well, try me.
Yeah, try me.
Yeah come on, try me tonight.
I did what was wrong though I knew what was right.
I've got no wisdom that I want to pass on.
Just don't hang round here, no, I'm telling you son.
You don't wanna know me.
Oh, that's just what everybody's telling me.
And everybody's telling me
you look like me
but please don't turn into me.
You look like me
but you're not like me I hope.
I have run away form the one thing that I ever made.
Now I only wish that I could show you -
wish I could show a little soul.
Wish I could show a little soul.
I'M A MAN
Laid here with the advertising sliding past my eyes
like cartoons from other peoples lives,
I start to wonder what it takes to be a man.
Well I learned to drink
And I learned to smoke
and I learned to tell a dirty joke.
If that's all there is then there's no point for me.
So please can I ask just why we're alive?
Cos all that you do seems such a waste of time
and if you hang around too long you'll be a man.
Tell me 'bout it.
Your car can get up to a hundred and ten -
you've nowhere to go but you'll go there again
and nothing ever makes no difference to a man.
So you stumble into town and hold your stomach
in.
Show them what you've got tho' they've seen everything.
Yeah you're a beauty but they've seen your type before.
You've got no need but still you want,
so go and book that restaurant.
The wine will flow and then you'll just fly away.
So please can I ask just why we're alive?
Cos all that you do seems such a waste of time
and if you hang around too long you'll be a man.
Tell me 'bout it.
Your car can get up to a hundred and ten -
you've nowhere to go but you'll go there again
and nothing ever makes no difference to a man.
Nothing ever makes no difference to a man.
That's what I am.
SEDUCTIVE BARRY
Here in the night love takes control.
Making me high
making me whole.
I don't know.
Oh no no no.
No I don't know.
No no no.
No I don't know.
When I close my eyes I can see you lowering
yourself to my
level.
I don't know where you got those clothes,
you can take them off if it makes you feel better.
Don't stop it now.
Now is so right.
Now as the day slips away
and we slide into night.
I don't know.
Oh no no no.
No I don't know know.
No no no.
No I don't know.
I open my eyes and you're there,
even better in the flesh it would seem.
I'm so ready and willing and able it's untrue,
to act out this love scene
and make my dreams come true.
And how many others have touched themselves
whilst looking at pictures of you?
How many others could handle it if all their dreams came
true?
I don't expect you to answer straight away,
maybe you're just having an off day
but I need to believe in you.
Yes I do.
Yes I do.
Oh I want you here in my heart.
Here in my head.
Live all your dreams for tonight
here in your bed.
I don't know.
Oh no no no.
No I don't know.
No no no.
No I don't know.
So roll the soundtrack and dim the lights
cos I'm not going home tonight.
This love scene has begun.
There's nothing left for us to do but get it on.
Lets make this the greatest love scene from a play no-one's
thought up yet.
I know you're feeling the same as me but what you gonna
do about
it?
Now here's an exclusive:
I've wanted you for years.
I only needed the balls to admit it.
When the unbelievable object meets the unstoppable force
there's nothing you can do about it.
No.
I will light your cigarette with a star that has fallen
from the
sky.
Breathe in, breathe out,
I love the way you move.
Don't let anyone tell you any different tonight.
You are beauty,
you are class,
you showed it all
but you still kept a little piece back just for me.
A little piece back just for me.
Just for me.
Oh I don't know how you do it
but I love the way you do it,
when you're doing it to me.
And if this is a dream then I'm going to sleep for the rest
of
my life.
For the rest of my life.
For the rest of my life.
For the rest of my life.
SYLVIA
You look just like Sylvia:
Well you look like her to me -
the way she wore her hair then.
Oh, he way she used to be.
I've not seen her for a long time
though I've heard she's still around.
Her father's living with some girl
who's a year younger than her.
She's living in the country now yeah.
Oh, she's trying to get better.
Her beauty was her only crime.
Yeah, I remember Sylvia.
So keep believing
and do what you do,
I can't help you but I know things are gonna get better.
And please stop asking what it's got to do with you.
Oh, keep believing cos you know that you deserve better.
Who's this man you're talking to?
Can't you see what he wants to do?
He thinks if he stands near enough then he will look as
good as
you.
Oh, he don't care about your problems.
He just wants to show his friends.
I guess I'm just the same as him -
I just didn't know it then.
I never understood you really
and I know it's too late now.
You didn't ask to be that way.
oh, I'm sorry Sylvia.
So keep believing
and do what you do,
I can't help you but I know things are gonna get better.
And please stop asking what it's got to do with you.
Oh, keep believing cos you know that you deserve better.
Yeah you know that you deserve better.
Oh Sylvia.
GLORY DAYS
Come and play the tunes of glory -
raise your voice in celebration
of the days that we have wasted in the cafe
in the station.
And learn the meaning of existence in fortnightly instalments.
Come share this golden age with me
in my single room apartment.
And if it all amounts to nothing -
it doesn't matter,
these are still our glory days.
Oh my face is unappealing and my thoughts
are unoriginal.
I did experiments with substances
but all it did was make me ill
and I used to do the I Ching
but then I had to feed the meter.
Now I can't see into the future
but at least I can use the heater.
Oh it doesn't get much better than this
cos this is how we live our glory days.
Oh and I could be a genius if I just put my mind to it
and I,
I could do anything if only I could get round to it.
Oh we were brought up on the Space-Race,
now they expect you to clean toilets.
When you've seen how big the world is,
how can you make do with this?
If you want me I'll be sleeping in -
sleeping in throughout these glory days.
These glory days can take their toll,
so catch me now
before I turn to gold.
Yeah we'd love to hear your story
just as long as it tells us where we are -
that where we are is where we're meant to be.
Oh come on make it up yourself -
you don't need anybody else.
And I promise I won't sell these days to anybody else in
the
world but you.
No-one but you.
THE DAY AFTER THE
REVOLUTION
The dust has settled,
replaces the bulbs in all the lights.
I guess I'll get no sleep tonight.
A revolution happened.
Oh, sorry, you haven't heard?
We are the children of the new world.
If you're quiet you can watch if you like.
They say the future's beginning tonight.
Whole empires will crumble.
Civilisations will fall.
Lie on the bed, hear the sound of it all.
No anger, no guilt and no sorrow;
it sounds unlikely, I know, but tomorrow
you will wake up to find that your whole life has changed.
Although nothing looks different
a revolution took place.
I love the way you do it.
I love the way you put them on.
You know the answers but you get it wrong.
(Just to confuse things).
Why did it seem so difficult to realise a simple truth?
The revolution begins and ends with you.
Now all the breakdowns and nightmares look small.
Now we decided not to die after all.
Because the meek shall inherit absolutely nothing at all.
If you stopped being so feeble you could have so much more.
The answer was here all the time, you see.
Just how I missed it is a mystery to me.
I have waited and waited for this day to arrive.
The revolution was televised.
Now it's over, bye bye.
It's over, bye bye.
Yeah, we made it.
Just by the skin of our teeth.
Perfection is over
(The Rave is over)
Sheffield is over.
The Fear is over.
Guilt is over
(Please leave the building quietly)
Bergerac is over.
The hangover is over
Men are over
Women are over.
Cholesterol is over.
Tapers are over.
Irony is over.
Bye bye.
Bye bye.
LIKE A FRIEND
Don't bother saying sorry
Why don't you come in?
Smoke all my cigarettes - again.
Everytime I get no further
How long has it been?
Come on in now
Wipe your feet on my dreams.
You take up my time
Like some cheap magazine
When I could have been
learning something
Well, you know what I mean.
I've done this before
And will do it again
C'mon and kill me baby
Whilst you smile like a friend
And I'll come running
Just to do it again.
I can't believe it
That this is still going on
Just how stupid can one person be?
Just how stupid and wrong
You are that last drink I never should have
drunk
You are the body hidden in the trunk
You are the habit I can't seem to kick
You are my secrets on the front page every week.
You are the car I never should have bought
You are the train I never should have caught
You are the but that makes me hide my face
You are the party that makes me feel my age.
Like a car wash I can see but I just
can't avoid
Like a plane I've been told I never should board
like a film that's so bad but
I've just got to stay 'til the end
Let me tell you
it's lucky for you that we're friends
