Kurt
Cobain: The Rolling Stone Interview
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tradução
Our man in Nirvana rages on
(and on) about stardom, fatherhood, his feud with Pearl Jam,
the death of grunge and why he's never been happier in his
life.
By David Fricke
Shirtless, disheveled Kurt
Cobain pauses on the backstage stairway leading to Nirvana's
dressing room at the Aragon Ballroom, in Chicago, offers a
visitor a sip of his apres-gig tea and says in a drop-deadpan
voice, "I'm really glad you could make it for the s---tiest
show on the tour." He's right. Tonight's concert -- Nirvana's
second of two nights at the Aragon, only a week into the band's
first U.S. tour in two years -- is a real stinker. The venue's
cavernous sound turns even corrosive torpedoes like "Breed"
and "Territorial Pissings" into riff pudding, and
Cobain is bedeviled all night by guitar- and vocal-monitor
problems. There are moments of prickly brilliance: Cobain's
sandpaper howl cutting through the Aragon's canyonlike echo
in the tense, explosive chorus of "Heart-Shaped Box";
a short, stunning "Sliver" with torrid power strumming
by guest touring guitarist Pat Smear (ex-Germs). But there
is no "Smells Like Teen Spirit," and when the house
lights go up, so does a loud chorus of boos.
According to the Cobain press
myth -- "pissy, complaining, freaked-out schizophrenic,"
as he quite accurately puts it -- the 26-year-old singer and
guitarist should have fired the soundman, canceled this interview
and gone back to his hotel room to sulk. Instead, he spends
his wind-down time backstage, doting on his daughter, 1-year-old
Frances Bean Cobain, a petite blond beauty who barrels around
the room with a smile for everyone in her path. Later, back
at the hotel, armed with nothing stronger than a pack of cigarettes
and two minibar bottles of Evian water, Cobain is in a thoughtful,
discursive mood, taking great pains to explain that success
doesn't really suck -- not as much as it used to, anyway --
and that his life is pretty good. And getting better.
"It was so fast and explosive,"
he says in a sleepy, gravelly voice of his first crisis of
confidence following the ballistic success of Nevermind. "I
didn't know how to deal with it. If there was a Rock Star
101 course, I would have liked to take it. It might have helped
me.
"I still see stuff, descriptions
of rock stars in some magazine -- 'Sting, the environmental
mental guy,' and 'Kurt Cobain, the whiny, complaining, neurotic,
bitchy guy who hates everything, hates rock stardom, hates
his life.' And I've never been happier in my life. Especially
within the last week, because the shows have been going so
well -- except for tonight. I'm a much happier guy than a
lot of people think I am."
Cobain took some long, hard
detours to get there over the past year. The making of In
Utero, Nirvana's long-awaited studio follow-up to Nevermind,
was fraught with last-minute title and track changes as well
as a public scrap between the band, its record label, DGC,
and producer Steve Albini over the album's commercial potential
-- or lack thereof. Cobain's marriage to punk-noir singer
Courtney Love of the band Hole -- dream fodder for rock gossips
since the couple exchanged vows in February 1992 -- made headlines
again last June when Cobain was arrested by Seattle police
for allegedly assaulting Love during a domestic fracas. Police
found three guns in the house, but no charges were filed,
and the case was dismissed.
Last year, Cobain also made
a clean breast of his long-rumored heroin addiction, claiming
he'd used the drug -- at least in part -- to opiate severe,
chronic stomach pain. Or as he puts it in this interview,
"to medicate myself." He's now off the junk, and
thanks to new medication and a better diet, his digestive
tract, he says, is on the road to recovery.
But the roots of his angst,
public and personal, go much deeper. Born near the logging
town of Aberdeen, Wash., Cobain is -- like Nirvana's bassist,
Krist Novoselic, drummer Dave Grohl and a high percentage
of the band's young fans -- the product of a broken home,
the son of an auto mechanic and a secretary who divorced when
he was 8. Cobain had early aspirations as a commercial artist
and won a number of high-school art contests; he now designs
much of Nirvana's artwork. (He made the plastic-fetus collage
on the back cover of In Utero, which got the record banned
by Kmart and Wal-Mart.)
But after graduation, Cobain
passed on an art-school scholarship and took up the teen-age-bum
life, working as a roadie for the local punk band the Melvins
(when he was working at all) and applying himself to songwriting.
"I never wanted to sing,"
Cobain insists now. "I just wanted to play rhythm guitar
-- hide in the back and just play. But during those high-school
years when I was playing guitar in my bedroom, I at least
had the intuition that I had to write my own songs."
For a long time, after Nirvana
catapulted from junior Sub Pop-label signees to grunge supergods
-- they won the Best Band and Best Album trophies in Rolling
Stone's 1994 Critics' Poll -- Cobain could not decide whether
his talent was a blessing or a curse. He has finally come
to realize it's a bit of both. He is bugged that people think
of him more as an icon than a songwriter yet fears that In
Utero marks the finish line of the Nirvana sound crystallized
in "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Cobain remains deeply
mistrustful of the music business but says he has done a complete
U-turn on his attitude toward Nirvana's mass punk-wanna-be
flock.
"I don't have as many
judgments about them as I used to," Cobain says, almost
apologetically. "I've come to terms about why they're
there and why we're here. It doesn't bother me anymore to
see this Neanderthal with a mustache, out of his mind, drunk,
singing along to 'Sliver.' That blows my mind now.
"I've been relieved of
so much pressure in the last year and a half," Cobain
says with discernible relief in his voice. "I'm still
kind of mesmerized by it." He ticks off the reasons for
his content: "Pulling this record off. My family. My
child. Meeting William Burroughs and doing a record with him.
"Just little things that
no one would recognize or care about," he continues.
"And it has a lot to do with this band. If it wasn't
for this band, those things never would have happened. I'm
really thankful, and every month I come to more optimistic
conclusions."
"I just hope," Cobain
adds, grinning, "I don't become so blissful I become
boring. I think I'll always be neurotic enough to do something
weird."
Along with everything else
that went wrong onstage tonight, you left without playing
"Smells Like Teen Spirit." Why?
Kurt Cobain: That would have
been the icing on the cake [smiles grimly]. That would have
made everything twice as worse.
I don't even remember the guitar
solo on "Teen Spirit." It would take me five minutes
to sit in the catering room and learn the solo. But I'm not
interested in that kind of stuff. I don't know if that's so
lazy that I don't care anymore or what. I still like playing
"Teen Spirit," but it's almost an embarrassment
to play it.
In what way? Does the enormity
of its success still bug you?
Yeah. Everyone has focused
on that song so much. The reason it gets a big reaction is,
people have seen it on MTV a million times. It's been pounded
into their brains. But I think there are so many other songs
that I've written that are as good, if not better, than that
song, like "Drain You." That's definitely as good
as "Teen Spirit." I love the lyrics, and I never
get tired of playing it. Maybe if it was as big as "Teen
Spirit," I wouldn't like it as much. But I can barely,
especially on a bad night like tonight, get through "Teen
Spirit." I literally want to throw my guitar down and
walk away. I can't pretend to have a good time playing it.
But you must have had a
good time writing it.
We'd been practicing for about
three months. We were waiting to sign to DGC, and Dave [Grohl]
and I were living in Olympia [Wash.], and Krist [Novoselic]
was living in Tacoma [Wash.]. We were driving up to Tacoma
every night for practice, trying to write songs. I was trying
to write the ultimate pop song. I was basically trying to
rip off the Pixies. I have to admit it [smiles].
When I heard the Pixies for
the first time, I connected with that band so heavily I should
have been in that band -- or at least in a Pixies cover band.
We used their sense of dynamics, being soft and quiet and
then loud and hard.
"Teen Spirit" was
such a cliched riff. It was so close to a Boston riff or "Louie,
Louie." When I came up with the guitar part, Krist looked
at me and said, "That is so ridiculous." I made
the band play it for an hour and a half.
Where did the line "Here
we are now, entertain us" come from?
That came from something I
used to say every time I used to walk into a party to break
the ice. A lot of times, when you're standing around with
people in a room, it's really boring and uncomfortable. So
it was "Well, here we are, entertain us. You invited
us here."
How did it feel to watch
something you'd written in fun, in homage to one of your favorite
bands, become the grunge national anthem, not to mention a
defining moment in youth marketing?
Actually, we did have our own
thing for a while. For a few years in Seattle, it was the
Summer of Love, and it was so great. To be able to just jump
out on top of the crowd with my guitar and be held up and
pushed to the back of the room and then brought back with
no harm done to me -- it was a celebration of something that
no one could put their finger on.
But once it got into the mainstream,
it was over. I'm just tired of being embarrassed by it. I'm
beyond that.
This is the first U.S.
tour you've done since the fall of '91, just before Nevermind
exploded. Why did you stay off the road for so long?
I needed time to collect my
thoughts and readjust. It hit me so hard, and I was under
the impression that I didn't really need to go on tour, because
I was making a whole bunch of money. Millions of dollars.
Eight million to 10 million records sold -- that sounded like
a lot of money to me. So I thought I would sit back and enjoy
it.
I don't want to use this as
an excuse, and it's come up so many times, but my stomach
ailment has been one of the biggest barriers that stopped
us from touring. I was dealing with it for a long time. But
after a person experiences chronic pain for five years, by
the time that fifth year ends, you're literally insane. I
couldn't cope with anything. I was as schizophrenic as a wet
cat that's been beaten.
How much of that physical
pain do you think you channeled into your songwriting?
That's a scary question, because
obviously if a person is having some kind of turmoil in their
lives, it's usually reflected in the music, and sometimes
it's pretty beneficial. I think it probably helped. But I
would give up everything to have good health. I wanted to
do this interview after we'd been on tour for a while, and
so far, this has been the most enjoyable tour I've ever had.
Honestly.
It has nothing to do with the
larger venues or people kissing our asses more. It's just
that my stomach isn't bothering me anymore. I'm eating. I
ate a huge pizza last night. It was so nice to be able to
do that. And it just raises my spirits. But then again, I
was always afraid that if I lost the stomach problem, I wouldn't
be as creative. Who knows? [Pauses] I don't have any new songs
right now.
Every album we've done so far,
we've always had one to three songs left over from the sessions.
And they usually have been pretty good ones that we really
liked, so we always had something to rely on -- a hit or something
that was above average. So this next record is going to be
really interesting, because I have absolutely nothing left.
I'm starting from scratch for the first time. I don't know
what we're going to do.
One of the songs that you
cut from In Utero at the last minute was "I Hate Myself
and I Want to Die." How literally did you mean it?
As literal as a joke can be.
Nothing more than a joke. And that had a bit to do with why
we decided to take it off. We knew people wouldn't get it;
they'd take it too seriously. It was totally satirical, making
fun of ourselves. I'm thought of as this pissy, complaining,
freaked-out schizophrenic who wants to kill himself all the
time. "He isn't satisfied with anything." And I
thought it was a funny title. I wanted it to be the title
of the album for a long time. But I knew the majority of the
people wouldn't understand it.
Have you ever been that
consumed with distress or pain or rage that you actually wanted
to kill yourself?
For five years during the time
I had my stomach problem, yeah. I wanted to kill myself every
day. I came very close many times. I'm sorry to be so blunt
about it. It was to the point where I was on tour, lying on
the floor, vomiting air because I couldn't hold down water.
And then I had to play a show in 20 minutes. I would sing
and cough up blood.
This is no way to live a life.
I love to play music, but something was not right. So I decided
to medicate myself.
Even as satire, though,
a song like that can hit a nerve. There are plenty of kids
out there who, for whatever reasons, really do feel suicidal.
That pretty much defines our
band. It's both those contradictions. It's satirical, and
it's serious at the same time.
What kind of mail do you
get from your fans these days?
[Long pause] I used to read
the mail a lot, and I used to be really involved with it.
But I've been so busy with this record, the video, the tour,
that I haven't even bothered to look at a single letter, and
I feel really bad about it. I haven't even been able to come
up with enough energy to put out our fanzine, which was one
of the things we were going to do to combat all the bad press,
just to be able to show a more realistic side of the band.
But it's really hard. I have
to admit I've found myself doing the same things that a lot
of other rock stars do or are forced to do. Which is not being
able to respond to mail, not being able to keep up on current
music, and I'm pretty much locked away a lot. The outside
world is pretty foreign to me.
I feel very, very lucky to
be able to go out to a club. Just the other night, we had
a night off in Kansas City, Mo., and Pat [Smear] and I had
no idea where we were or where to go. So we called up the
local college radio station and asked them what was going
on. And they didn't know! So we happened to call this bar,
and the Treepeople from Seattle were playing.
And it turns out I met three
really, really nice people there, totally cool kids that were
in bands. I really had a good time with them, all night. I
invited them back to the hotel. They stayed there. I ordered
room service for them. I probably went overboard, trying to
be accommodating. But it was really great to know that I can
still do that, that I can still find friends.
And I didn't think that would
be possible. A few years ago, we were in Detroit, playing
at this club, and about 10 people showed up. And next door,
there was this bar, and Axl Rose came in with 10 or 15 bodyguards.
It was this huge extravaganza; all these people were fawning
over him. If he'd just walked in by himself, it would have
been no big deal. But he wanted that. You create attention
to attract attention.
Where do you stand on Pearl
Jam now? There were rumors that you and Eddie Vedder were
supposed to be on that Time magazine cover together.
I don't want to get into that.
One of the things I've learned is that slagging off people
just doesn't do me any good. It's too bad, because the whole
problem with the feud between Pearl Jam and Nirvana had been
going on for so long and has come so close to being fixed.
It's never been entirely
clear what this feud with Vedder was about.
There never was one. I slagged
them off because I didn't like their band. I hadn't met Eddie
at the time. It was my fault; I should have been slagging
off the record company instead of them. They were marketed
-- not probably against their will -- but without them realizing
they were being pushed into the grunge bandwagon.
Don't you feel any empathy
with them? They've been under the same intense follow-up-album
pressure as you have.
Yeah, I do. Except I'm pretty
sure that they didn't go out of their way to challenge their
audience as much as we did with this record. They're a safe
rock band. They're a pleasant rock band that everyone likes.
[Laughs] God, I've had much better quotes in my head about
this.
It just kind of pisses me off
to know that we work really hard to make an entire album's
worth of songs that are as good as we can make them. I'm gonna
stroke my ego by saying that we're better than a lot of bands
out there. What I've realized is that you only need a couple
of catchy songs on an album, and the rest can be bulls---
Bad Company rip-offs, and it doesn't matter. If I was smart,
I would have saved most of the songs off Nevermind and spread
them out over a 15-year period. But I can't do that. All the
albums I ever liked were albums that delivered a great song,
one after another: Aerosmith's Rocks, the Sex Pistols' Never
Mind the Bollocks..., Led Zeppelin II, Back in Black by AC/DC.
You've also gone on record
as being a big Beatles fan.
Oh, yeah. John Lennon was definitely
my favorite Beatle, hands down. I don't know who wrote what
parts of what Beatles songs, but Paul McCartney embarrasses
me. Lennon was obviously disturbed [laughs]. So I could relate
to that.
And from the books I've read
-- and I'm so skeptical of anything I read, especially in
rock books -- I just felt really sorry for him. To be locked
up in that apartment. Although he was totally in love with
Yoko and his child, his life was a prison. He was imprisoned.
It's not fair. That's the crux of the problem that I've had
with becoming a celebrity -- the way people deal with celebrities.
It needs to be changed; it really does.
No matter how hard you try,
it only comes out like you're bitching about it. I can understand
how a person can feel that way and almost become obsessed
with it. But it's so hard to convince people to mellow out.
Just take it easy, have a little bit of respect. We all s---
[laughs].
In Utero may be the most
anticipated, talked-about and argued-over album of 1993. Didn't
you feel at any point during all the title changes and the
press hoopla stirred up by Steve Albini that the whole thing
was just getting stupid? After all, it is just an album.
Yeah. But I'm used to it [laughs].
While making the record, that wasn't happening. It was made
really fast. All the basic tracks were done within a week.
And I did 80 percent of the vocals in one day, in about seven
hours. I just happened to be on a roll. It was a good day
for me, and I just kept going.
So what was the problem?
It wasn't the songs. It was
the production. It took a very, very long time for us to realize
what the problem was. We couldn't figure it out. We had no
idea why we didn't feel the same energy that we did from Nevermind.
We finally came to the conclusion that the vocals weren't
loud enough, and the bass was totally inaudible. We couldn't
hear any notes that Krist was playing at all.
I think there are a few songs
on In Utero that could have been cleaned up a little bit more.
Definitely "Pennyroyal Tea." That was not recorded
right. There is something wrong with that. That should have
been recorded like Nevermind, because I know that's a strong
song, a hit single. We're toying with the idea of re-recording
it or remixing it.
You hit and miss. It's a really
weird thing about this record. I've never been more confused
in my life, but at the same time I've never been more satisfied
with what we've done.
Let's talk about your songwriting.
Your best songs -- "Teen Spirit," "Come As
You Are," "Rape Me," "Pennyroyal Tea"
-- all open with the verse in a low, moody style. Then the
chorus comes in at full volume and nails you. So which comes
first, the verse or the killer chorus?
[Long pause, then he smiles]
I don't know. I really don't know. I guess I start with the
verse and then go into the chorus. But I'm getting so tired
of that formula. And it is formula. And there's not much you
can do with it. We've mastered that -- for our band. We're
all growing pretty tired of it.
It is a dynamic style. But
I'm only using two of the dynamics. There are a lot more I
could be using. Krist, Dave and I have been working on this
formula -- this thing of going from quiet to loud -- for so
long that it's literally becoming boring for us. It's like
"OK, I have this riff. I'll play it quiet, without a
distortion box, while I'm singing the verse. And now let's
turn on the distortion box and hit the drums harder."
I want to learn to go in between
those things, go back and forth, almost become psychedelic
in a way but with a lot more structure. It's a really hard
thing to do, and I don't know if we're capable of it -- as
musicians.
Songs like "Dumb"
and "All Apologies" do suggest that you're looking
for a way to get to people without resorting to the big-bang
guitar effect.
Absolutely. I wish we could
have written a few more songs like those on all the other
albums. Even to put "About a Girl" on Bleach was
a risk. I was heavily into pop, I really liked R.E.M., and
I was into all kinds of old '60s stuff. But there was a lot
of pressure within that social scene, the underground -- like
the kind of thing you get in high school. And to put a jangly
R.E.M. type of pop song on a grunge record, in that scene,
was risky.
We have failed in showing the
lighter, more dynamic side of our band. The big guitar sound
is what the kids want to hear. We like playing that stuff,
but I don't know how much longer I can scream at the top of
my lungs every night, for an entire year on tour. Sometimes
I wish I had taken the Bob Dylan route and sang songs where
my voice would not go out on me every night, so I could have
a career if I wanted.
So what does this mean
for the future of Nirvana?
It's impossible for me to look
into the future and say I'm going to be able to play Nirvana
songs in 10 years. There's no way. I don't want to have to
resort to doing the Eric Clapton thing. Not to put him down
whatsoever; I have immense respect for him. But I don't want
to have to change the songs to fit my age [laughs].
The song on In Utero that
has whipped up the most controversy is "Rape Me."
It's got a brilliant hook, but there have been objections
to the title and lyric -- not just from skittish DJs but from
some women who feel it's rather cavalier for a man to be using
such a potent, inflammatory word so freely.
I understand that point of
view, and I've heard it a lot. I've gone back and forth between
regretting it and trying to defend myself. Basically, I was
trying to write a song that supported women and dealt with
the issue of rape. Over the last few years, people have had
such a hard time understanding what our message is, what we're
trying to convey, that I just decided to be as bold as possible.
How hard should I stamp this point? How big should I make
the letters?
It's not a pretty image. But
a woman who is being raped, who is infuriated with the situation...it's
like "Go ahead, rape me, just go for it, because you're
gonna get it." I'm a firm believer in karma, and that
motherf---er is going to get what he deserves, eventually.
That man will be caught, he'll go to jail, and he'll be raped.
"So rape me, do it, get it over with. Because you're
gonna get it worse."
What did your wife, Courtney,
think of the song when she heard it?
I think she understood. I probably
explained it better to her than I've explained it to you.
I also want to make a point, that I was really, honestly not
trying to be controversial with it. That was the last thing
I wanted to do. We didn't want to put it out so it would piss
off the parents and get some feminists on our asses, stuff
like that. I just have so much contempt for someone who would
do something like that [to a woman]. This is my way of saying:
"Do it once, and you may get away with it. Do it a hundred
times. But you're gonna get it in the end."
When you were arrested
on the domestic-violence charge this summer, Courtney admitted
to the police that you kept guns in your home. Why do you
feel you need to be armed?
I like guns. I just enjoy shooting
them.
Where? At what?
[Laughs] When we go out to
the woods, at a shooting range. It's not an official shooting
range, but it's allowed to be one in this county. There's
a really big cliff, so there's no chance of shooting over
the cliff and hurting anyone. And there's no one within miles
around.
Without getting too PC
about it, don't you feel it's dangerous to keep them in the
house, especially with your daughter, Frances, around?
No. It's protection. I don't
have bodyguards. There are people way less famous than I am
or Courtney who have been stalked and murdered. It could be
someone by chance looking for a house to break into. We have
a security system. I actually have one gun that is loaded,
but I keep it safe, in a cabinet high up on a shelf where
Frances can never get to it.
And I have an M-16, which is
fun to shoot. It's the only sport I have ever liked. It's
not something I'm obsessed with or even condone. I don't really
think much of it.
How does Courtney feel
about keeping guns at home?
She was there when I bought
them. Look, I'm not a very physical person. I wouldn't be
able to stop an intruder who had a gun or a knife. But I'm
not going to stand by and watch my family stabbed to death
or raped in front of me. I wouldn't think twice of blowing
someone's head off if they did that. It's for protection reasons.
And sometimes it's fun to go out and shoot. [Pauses] At targets.
I want to make that clear [laughs].
People usually assume that
someone who has sold a few million records is really livin'
large. How rich are you? How rich do you feel? According to
one story, you wanted to buy a new house and put a home studio
in it, but your accountant said you couldn't afford it.
Yeah, I can't. I just got a
check a while ago for some royalties for Nevermind, which
is pretty good size. It's weird, though, really weird. When
we were selling a lot of records during Nevermind, I thought,
"God, I'm gonna have like $10 million, $15 million."
That's not the case. We do not live large. I still eat Kraft
macaroni and cheese -- because I like it, I'm used to it.
We're not extravagant people.
I don't blame any kid for thinking
that a person who sells 10 million records is a millionaire
and set for the rest of his life. But it's not the case. I
spent a million dollars last year, and I have no idea how
I did it. Really. I bought a house for $400,000. Taxes were
another $300,000-something. What else? I lent my mom some
money. I bought a car. That was about it.
You don't have much to
show for that million.
It's surprising. One of the
biggest reasons we didn't go on tour when Nevermind was really
big in the States was because I thought: "Fuck this,
why should I go on tour? I have this chronic stomach pain,
I may die on this tour, I'm selling a lot of records, I can
live the rest of my life off a million dollars." But
there's no point in even trying to explain that to a 15-year-old
kid. I never would have believed it.
Do you worry about the
impact that your work, lifestyle and ongoing war with supercelebrity
are having on Frances? She seemed perfectly content to toddle
around in the dressing room tonight, but it's got to be a
strange world for her.
I'm pretty concerned about
it. She seems to be attracted to almost anyone. She loves
anyone. And it saddens me to know that she's moved around
so much. We do have two nannies, one full-time and another
older woman who takes care of her on weekends. But when we
take her on the road, she's around people all the time, and
she doesn't get to go to the park very often. We try as hard
as we can, we take her to preschool things. But this is a
totally different world.
In "Serve the Servants,"
you sing, "I tried hard to have a father/But instead
I had a dad." Are you concerned about making the same
mistakes as a father that might have been made when you were
growing up?
No. I'm not worried about that
at all. My father and I are completely different people. I
know that I'm capable of showing a lot more affection than
my dad was. Even if Courtney and I were to get divorced, I
would never allow us to be in a situation where there are
bad vibes between us in front of her. That kind of stuff can
screw up a kid, but the reason those things happen is because
the parents are not very bright.
I don't think Courtney and
I are that fucked up. We have lacked love all our lives, and
we need it so much that if there's any goal that we have,
it's to give Frances as much love as we can, as much support
as we can. That's the one thing that I know is not going to
turn out bad.
What has been the state
of relations within Nirvana over the past year?
When I was doing drugs, it
was pretty bad. There was no communication. Krist and Dave,
they didn't understand the drug problem. They'd never been
around drugs. They thought of heroin in the same way that
I thought of heroin before I started doing it. It was just
really sad. We didn't speak very often. They were thinking
the worst, like most people would, and I don't blame them
for that. But nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Since I've
been clean, it's gone back to pretty much normal.
Except for Dave. I'm still
kind of concerned about him, because he still feels like he
can be replaced at any time. He still feels like he...
Hasn't passed the audition?
Yeah. I don't understand it.
I try to give him as many compliments as I can. I'm not a
person who gives compliments very often, especially at practice.
"Let's do this song, let's do that song, let's do it
over." That's it. I guess Dave is a person who needs
reassurance sometimes. I notice that, so I try and do that
more often.
So you call all the shots?
Yeah. I ask their opinions
about things. But ultimately, it's my decision. I always feel
weird saying that; it feels egotistical. But we've never argued.
Dave, Krist and I have never screamed at each other. Ever.
It's not like they're afraid
to bring up anything. I always ask their opinion, and we talk
about it. And eventually, we all come to the same conclusions.
Haven't there been any
issues where there was at least heated discussion?
Yeah, the songwriting royalties.
I get all the lyrics. The music, I get 75 percent, and they
get the rest. I think that's fair. But at the time, I was
on drugs when that came up. And so they thought that I might
start asking for more things. They were afraid that I was
going to go out of my mind and start putting them on salary,
stuff like that. But even then we didn't yell at each other.
And we split everything else evenly.
With all of your reservations
about playing "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and writing
the same kind of song over and over, do you envision a time
when there is no Nirvana? That you'll try to make it alone?
I don't think I could ever
do a solo thing, the Kurt Cobain Project.
Doesn't have a very good
ring to it, either.
No [laughs]. But yes, I would
like to work with people who are totally, completely the opposite
of what I'm doing now. Something way out there, man.
That doesn't bode well
for the future of Nirvana and the kind of music you make together.
That's what I've been kind
of hinting at in this whole interview. That we're almost exhausted.
We've gone to the point where things are becoming repetitious.
There's not something you can move up toward, there's not
something you can look forward to.
The best times that we ever
had were right when Nevermind was coming out and we went on
that American tour where we were playing clubs. They were
totally sold out, and the record was breaking big, and there
was this massive feeling in the air, this vibe of energy.
Something really special was happening.
I hate to actually even say
it, but I can't see this band lasting more than a couple more
albums, unless we really work hard on experimenting. I mean,
let's face it. When the same people are together doing the
same job, they're limited. I'm really interested in studying
different things, and I know Krist and Dave are as well. But
I don't know if we are capable of doing it together. I don't
want to put out another record that sounds like the last three
records.
I know we're gonna put out
one more record, at least, and I have a pretty good idea what
it's going to sound like: pretty ethereal, acoustic, like
R.E.M.'s last album. If I could write just a couple of songs
as good as what they've written... I don't know how that band
does what they do. God, they're the greatest. They've dealt
with their success like saints, and they keep delivering great
music.
That's what I'd really like
to see this band do. Because we are stuck in such a rut. We
have been labeled. R.E.M. is what? College rock? That doesn't
really stick. Grunge is as potent a term as New Wave. You
can't get out of it. It's going to be passe. You have to take
a chance and hope that either a totally different audience
accepts you or the same audience grows with you.
And what if the kids just
say, "We don't dig it, get lost"?
Oh, well. [Laughs] F--k 'em.
[Rolling Stone, 27 de janeiro
de 1994]
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